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True Blood Exclusive: Chris Meloni Circling Major Season 5 Role as [Spoiler Alert]

That noise you hear is the sound of Twitter exploding into a million little pieces over the following news: Chris Meloni is being courted to join the cast of True Blood.

Take a deep breath and continue reading…

TVLine has learned exclusively that the former Law & Order: SVU front man is circling what my sources are calling a “major role” in the show’s upcoming fifth season.

But what role? An HBO rep declined to comment, but I hear Meloni — who’s currently shooting a top-secret role in The Man of Steel — is in talks to play (duh) an incredibly powerful vampire.

If a deal comes to pass, this would be a major casting coup for True Blood. It would also mark a high-profile return to the small screen for Meloni following his sudden departure from SVU last spring.

The holidays have begun. Hold onto your hat (and your wallet.)

Joe Paterno Sold His House To His Wife For $1 Before Sandusky Scandal Broke

http://www.thesuperficial.com/joe-paterno-sold-house-wife-one-dollar-sandusky-scandal-11-2011

Why? Because he knows that he will be inundated with law suits. He had better sell her the furniture and a car too, or they'll be eating off of a wooden crate with newspapers for seats and riding a bicycle.

Big Deal

Kendall Jenner received a $90,000 car for her 16th birthday present from her totally functional family. Big deal. I got a car for my 16th birthday too. So OK. It didn't cost $90,000. And OK, it was entirely imaginary. But it's the same thing.

My question is, what are they going to get her in the future? I think they should buy her her own country when she turns 18, because no one here will be able to stand her.

Andy Rooney passes on

I think Michael K of DListed says it best:

"Goodnight, Sweet Grouchy Ass Prince

I don't know how you fly your eyebrows at half-staff, but we should all find a way, because an iconic pair attached to a cranky poet and legendary American curmudgeon has gone off to the great big messy office in the sky where all the mixed nuts are whole and all the water is slutty. Andy Rooney's angel wing brows have spread and he has flown up to the afterworld, while complaining the entire way, at the age of 92. Andy died in a NYC hospital last night from complications following a minor surgery. Andy semi-retired 6 weeks ago after giving his 1,097th and final verbal bitch slap to America on 60 Minutes.

As a cranky bitch who can't wait until I truly have no more fucks to give, this wraps the sads around my heart. One of my rituals every Sunday before Amazing Race was to watch Andy complain about some shit I didn't even know was possible for people to complain about. I mean, he moaned and bitched about coins! Sometimes Andy was right. Sometimes Andy was wrong. Sometimes Andy said some crazy shit. Sometimes Andy made sense. But throughout all of that Andy continued to have no spare fucks to give about what you thought about his complaining. For that, I thank Andy! And now I leave you with a few quotes from one of the great American grouches:

'I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.'

'The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.'

'Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.'

'Death is a distant rumor to the young.'

Rest in peace, Andy. We'll pour one out for you today and then wave our fists while complaining about the mess we made."

I always cry at weddings

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/entertainment/video-conan-obrien-officiates-gay-wedding

What do you think?

Harrison Ford in his Halloween costume, obviously wearing a banana hammock under it all. What do you think? I'd say the face may have fallen but the goods seem to be holding up pretty substantially.