and he called her a bitcher!!!
Dear Ted:
Poor Ted, what will you do after the last installment of Twi crap is done? You have alienated most of your loyal readers by having tripled and quadruple daily Twigasms and blowing off everything else. I thought you were trying to redeem yourself by bringing Toothy Tile back to the forefront, but that was very short lived on your part. Now it seems you are just randomly Vice-ing to try for more hits because the Twi nuts are all in school during the day! I want a Hugh Jackman story. Or a Daniel Craig story. Or how about more Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream? You haven't said anything about Nicole Kidman in forever. I'm sorry, but the world does not revolve around Twilight. I want the old snarky Ted back please.
—Judes
Dear Bitcher:
Screw you and your complaints, does that work? (I write about who I want to write about, FYI.)
i, for one, am coming to my beloved Judes defense and am writing bibby a nasty e-mail. i suggest my fellow bloggers follow suit.
ReplyDeleteFirst let me say, who DOESN'T want a piece of delicious Judes?
ReplyDeleteJudes, I crown you high priestess of pissing off Bibby. You are the IT girl. Luv ya.
from the AT trenches:
ReplyDelete126.
waiting4godot Thu, Dec 16, 2010, 7:21 AM
the reason JG likes TS so much is because she is "virginal" so he doesn't have to worry about "getting it up" to f u c k her.
133.
waiting4godot Thu, Dec 16, 2010, 7:25 AM
oh bibby, u nasty boy! i am quite offended that you called Judes a ********* and told her to go screw. evidently u have quit smokin' again. why are you being so harsh with her? she had nothing to do with Jon leaving your saggy azz or did she?!?
134.
waiting4godot Thu, Dec 16, 2010, 7:26 AM
b i t c h e r
137.
waiting4godot Thu, Dec 16, 2010, 7:27 AM
btw bibby, in the words of Chelsea Handler, you are one 'effin c u n t!!!
hey, even i would like a piece of delicious Judes and i don't even bat for her team!!! and yes, kudos all around for our beloved Judes! u go girl!!!
ReplyDeleteWhoa, Judes! You really found the right button to push! Gawd, what he said was vulgar and rude. I'm sincerely irked by this. If it makes you feel any better, remember he called me a "crack head."
ReplyDeleteYes, we are officially the Crackhead/Bitcher Society. My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, and I would like to thank all the twitards who made this possible...no I wouldn't.
ReplyDeleteTo get out of my head I went to the edge of the known universe. There I thought I saw nothing. Had to admit to myself I don't know what nothing looks like. If there is nothing beyond our known universe does it ever end? Infinity? What's that? Do we know there is infinity, if so how can we call it that? Where do you go there? After realizing I couldn't navigate in nothing as there are no references, I returned. Now I found my way back to the beat house and just want to hang out with Jack, Allan, W4G, Patricia, Judes and I see at least one new "face", TT. I suppose I need to sweep and scrub the floors for penance but before I do that:
ReplyDeleteWhat the HELL is Bibby doing flailing on Judes??? Man, I guess the truth hurts. Putting up with the twishits is getting to him (and not smoking too) but he's gotta do what he's gotta do - just don't take it out on Jules. I should get on my motorcycle and ride over to the E! office and nail Bibs with a cream pie.
It took longer than I wanted to get past my existential crisis or depression (probably the same thing) and seeing Bibs response to Judes very reasoned email did it!
There's a reason in the cosmos for each of our existence, and if Bibby's is to jar Roc awake once in a while, then he's worth it.
ReplyDeleteTT is Patricia's new non de plume, Roc. It's short for Terrible Tish.
Welcome back playah.
it's about time u got your friggin' ass back here Roc. was gettin' worried about you plus u left me all alone with these lovely, but bitchy, women! ;-)
ReplyDeleteglad you're coming back from your depression - believe me, i am no stranger to depression. in fact, i've been going thru a low period myself lately. but it will pass.
speaking of existential crisis (ah, yes, "man alone against himself"), i once had a voice mail message which said, "sorry, but i'm in an existential vacuum and can't come to the phone right now. but please leave a message and i will call u back as soon as i leave the vacuum".
btw, if i should ever get to LA, would u give me a ride on your motorcycle?
and lasty, who in the fuck are Allan & Jack?!?
and, oh yea, i like the cream pie idea...but make sure you get it on video!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, WELCOME BACK ROC! Don't you ever stay away that long again-
ReplyDeleteThank you all for coming to my defense because of Ted's way over the top harshness. I'm not that offended really, I didn't have any clue that I could push his button so far into the red zone. I honestly didn't think he would ever print my email and it was complete whimsy that I even sent it. LOLOL, I think he would have responded FUCK YOU to me if he could've!
BB, as usual, your comments are priceless. Thanks honeybuns!
I'm actually having a giggle over the thought of seeing Ted all red faced and pissed off-LOLOL!
Maybe this day isn't a total waste after all.
Again, thanks all for having my back.
And LFJ, I think crack head and bitcher should go down in Bitch Back name-calling history. Didn't he call you something nasty too Patricia? We'll add that to the list as well.
Yikes, gotta go-Dragon Lady is breathing fire in her office-
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...beloved Judes called me "honeybuns". so sweet!!!
ReplyDeleteI think it's Jack Kerouac and Allan Ginsberg. They were the original beat generation.
ReplyDeletebibby called Tisha "sticks & stones"...but he respectfully referred to me as "blogger". he knows better than to incur the wrath of the great and powerful W4G!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey all - so glad to be back and I love the answering machine message. Think I'll change mine to that. TT (Patricia, I thought it might be a play on Toothy Tile and wondered where you where) is right, Ginsberg and Kerouac are who I was referring to. Of course you can ride on my motorcycle, just drag yourself to LA - that offer is open to any of you brave enough to ride with me.
ReplyDeleteLOL BB, so you like honeybuns, eh?
ReplyDeleteHow about sugarcube? Or swizzlestick? LOL!
That should be the next topic, the ewiest, gooeyest pet name for BB that we can think of!
Go Patricia, I know yours will be priceless!!
Bitcher-LOL! I still can't get over I po'd Ted so bad he resorted to name calling!!
Hey Roc, will you hit him with a French Silk pie instead? I think that would be more fitting than banana for dear ole Ted.
ReplyDeleteTeddy is my Sweet Prince. That's gooey enough for me.
ReplyDeleteOk,ok, he's also my Teddy Bear.
ReplyDeleteto Roc:
ReplyDelete"The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity."
Voltaire (French Philosopher and Writer,1694-1778)
A French Silk pie is brilliant - think they sell those at Marie Calendars? Maybe I'll use Voltaire's comment about infinity on my answering machine....
ReplyDeletesuch a welcoming message, Roc. I think most people would blink, start to think, "does he mean me?" and then miss the opportunity for a message. wouldn't that be a godsend?
ReplyDeleteisn't it kewl to have Roc back?!? it's early but i'm heading to bed now...gotta get up at 3am to take Ric to the airport then have to go to Atlanta. won't be back till late afternoon so i won't be around. so Tisha, i am leaving it to u to hold down the fort.
ReplyDeletenite to all & sweet dreams.
Even my 90 year old mother is still, up. But let's not tell w4g.
ReplyDeleteLove & kisses, Teddy Bear.
"Dear Ted:
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right that you can print whatever the hell you want. That is your undisputed right. But it is also my undisputed right to question why you are jumping on the Twilight bandwagon and riding faster than your spurs can kick? I have been reading you since your Defamer days and have loved every second of you. My only "bitch" is your over-the-top Twilight coverage. You don't give any other subject (except animal and gay rights, which I commend you on) the same treatment. You have never been a follower, always a leader, so pardon me for calling you out on your blatant Twilight selling out. I'm truly sorry if I pushed your button into the red zone, but you have pushed mine there 10 times over. And by the way, Happy Holidays, Mr. Grinch.
—Judes, AKA the Bitcher
Dear Twi Panties In A Twist:
Come on, babe—we pushed the Twilight phenom because we were the first to accurately report Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart being a real-life couple. Excuse the crap outta us for participating further in their hot-mess rebelliousness! Besides, I can tell you can take it. But enlighten me: Who you would like to hear about? Kisses to you, Mrs. Grinch!"
Mrs. Grinch? Like being hit with a foam bat.
Judes! You are absolutely fabulous.
ReplyDeleteLook you guys! I'm famous 2 days in a row! I guess this is as close to an apology as I'll get from Ted-
ReplyDeleteI really did rile him yesterday!!!
Dear Ted:
You are absolutely right that you can print whatever the hell you want. That is your undisputed right. But it is also my undisputed right to question why you are jumping on the Twilight bandwagon and riding faster than your spurs can kick? I have been reading you since your Defamer days and have loved every second of you. My only "bitch" is your over-the-top Twilight coverage. You don't give any other subject (except animal and gay rights, which I commend you on) the same treatment. You have never been a follower, always a leader, so pardon me for calling you out on your blatant Twilight selling out. I'm truly sorry if I pushed your button into the red zone, but you have pushed mine there 10 times over. And by the way, Happy Holidays, Mr. Grinch.
—Judes, AKA the Bitcher
Dear Twi Panties In A Twist:
Come on, babe—we pushed the Twilight phenom because we were the first to accurately report Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart being a real-life couple. Excuse the crap outta us for participating further in their hot-mess rebelliousness! Besides, I can tell you can take it. But enlighten me: Who you would like to hear about? Kisses to you, Mrs. Grinch!
Twice the Bibby emails, twice the posts. Sounds fair.
ReplyDeleteWay to go Judes! Bibs is clearly somewhat contrite in his response to your second email. You're right, that's as close to an apology as you will get from him but again, well done. So anyone else want to go for a ride on my big red motorcycle???
ReplyDeleteMe me me! Can I white knuckle your waist, close my eyes and scream at the top of my lungs??!!
ReplyDeleteWow, that sounded completely pornographic and totally not what I meant-LOLOL!
ReplyDeleteLet's try again-Why yes Roc sir, I would be honored to join you on your big red machine....
Now wait a minute, there ISN'T any non-pornographic way to respond!
LOL-you big teaser-you phrased that way on purpose!!! HA! You gots me good Roc!
Oh, anyway you want to ride dahling! ;<) Now, I'm doing it, you're right, there appears to be no graceful way out of this....
ReplyDeleteAnd that's ok-just the kinda day it is!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL, thanks Roc-my cheeks hurt-nope, no graceful way out at ALL.
OK enough-LOLOL!
:)
Just WHAT has been going on here while I've been gone?!?
ReplyDeleteYou two are just what a cold December day needs.
I'll ride your big ol' red machine only in my dreams, Roc. I'm more of a schwinn girl. We like it slow and long.
Patricia, you do make me blush - and I love it! I could squeeze all 3 of you on this thing. Patricia, you could ride in the front of me on the gas tank, Judes can ride directly behind me and W4G can ride out back on the luggage rack. Make quite a show, even here in LA. We could cruise (slowly) over to the E! studios and introduce ourselves to Bibby. I'll be off the board and out of the beat house shortly - we have an office holiday luncheon that I depart for soon and usually am never on the PC on the weekends. So, you girls play nice (or not) until W4G and I return! I WILL be back on Monday for certain, no more long absences as this is too much fun.
ReplyDeleteThat's a promise, Roc.
ReplyDeleteInteresting holiday story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40683181/ns/health-healthy_holidays/
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'm not breaking up with all of you this holiday season. I'll wait until the Spring when you're less vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteBut, come to think of it, by then I'll be full of the wonders of nature and won't want to break up. So it's all good.
Swiftenhoolahay?
ReplyDeleteAsked about whether or not the ‘Mine’ singer and the ‘Love and Other Drugs’ actor caught each other’s eye at her dinner party, the ‘Country Strong’ actress responds,‘Well, I’m scared to say.’
Gwyneth Paltrow has played it coy when it comes to the rumor suggesting she was the one who introduced Jake Gyllenhaal to Taylor Swift. When USA Today’s Claudia Puig asked her about whether or not she helped the rumored couple to get to know each other when she hosted a dinner party at her London home, the “Country Strong” actress refused to give an exact answer.
“Where is this coming from? I’ve just known Jake for a long time and he’s a great guy, and [my husband] Chris [Martin] has a friendship with Taylor,” the 38-year-old responded.
Pressed with a question whether the two caught each other’s eye at the dinner party, she replied, “Well, I’m scared to say. It’s so weird. I wonder how people find out these things. It was a while ago, so I don’t know why it would come out today.”
Gwyneth isn’t the only one rumored to play matchmaker on Jake and Taylor. Jake’s own sister Maggie Gyllenhaal has also been said to play a part in the rumored romance. “Maggie introduced Jake to Taylor. Maggie and Taylor met at a charity event. Maggie thought Taylor was such a sweet girl with a good head on her shoulders,” a source told Hollywood Life. “So, Maggie thought she’d be a great match for her brother.
Maggie certainly knows her brother better than we do. Is he really that immature? Or is the virginal Swift the perfect no threat to his sexuality and true love partner?
ReplyDeleteOh Patricia, what a tangled web poor Toothy weaves-
ReplyDeleteI think it's a mixture of both but probably a little heavier leaning toward the latter.
Now what I find VERY interesting is this line;
"and [my husband] Chris [Martin] has a friendship with Taylor"
My eyebrow winged so high I couldn't blink after reading that. Definitely something to make you go hmmmm?!